Twilight Vampires don't have fangs...

True Blood at the Theatre?

I thought this meant a True Blood Movie, I was wrong but Gossip Cop reports:

Loyal fans of “True Blood” can get a bite before the Season 3 premiere.

HBO will host special midnight events for the vampire series at movie theaters across the country on June 1.

The night includes a screening of the Season 2 finale, an extended sneak preview of Season 3, and a live Q&A session with cast members and creator Alan Ball.

Tickets to the screenings are free, with VIP passes available through a variety of promotions and contests. The show’s official Facebook page gives fans a chance to win passes by “coming out” as a vampire, shapeshifter, werewolf or (ahem) “fangbanger.”

HBO explained the event as a reward to a passionate fan base that turned “True Blood” into a hit last year.

Anna Paquin’s Sookie Stackhouse, Stephen Moyer’s Bill Compton, and the rest of the Bon Temps gang return to television on June 13.

Hello?!?! Yes!!! Please!!! Me Me Me!!!

New Vampire Toys NSFW

Here is an email I got today with this photo. Please note the links included in this email are NSFW so do not click them from a shared cpmputer or at work.

Here is the email:

I know some of you out there have scratches on your peen from getting down with a pair of fake vampire teeth while thinking of Viking Eric from True Blood! You know who are you (Tommy Girl). Well, you can put those vampire teeth away, because here's something you can safely wrap around your wang. It's the Count Cockula, and the only thing it will hurt is your dignity!


For those of you who prefer your beejes without teeth, let the description really sell it to you:

Polish up your stake and drive it into this soft, vampire mouth for an orgasm that will wake the living dead. Packing the same punch as the original Fleshjacks but housed in a compact soda can and featuring the exclusive Vampire Fang inner canal texture not found on any other Fleshjack product.


And if you're really feeling kinky/lonely, you can use the Count Cockula with the Twidildo! It will be like having a threesome with RPattz and Vampire Beeehl. You won't need lube since your tears of self-pity will get the Count Cockula nice and wet!

With all that being said, I'd hit it. I'm joking (no, I'm not).

Too hilarious.....