GOOD news, everyone. We've figured out why your eardrums have been bleeding this summer.
The blame falls squarely with resident ballroom spaz Mary Murphy, a permanent judge on "So You Think You Can Dance"
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Whether she's on a prolonged screaming spree after a dance she particularly enjoyed or she's throwing contestants on her tired "Hot Tamale Train" (with seats reserved for especially spicy dancers), Murphy's loopy, skyrocketing-decibel schtick is officially beyond painful after five seasons
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Murphy certainly has the knowledge and the experience to be a sharp judge on the show, particularly of the ballroom-style dances, which are her forte.
But for every thoughtful comment about the flow and quality of a dancer’s movement, Murphy gives us one like: “Achoo! I’m allergic to down feathers, what can I say. But I wasn’t allergic to that routine!”
If this were Murphy’s only flaw, we could chalk it up to “hearty enthusiasm” and call it a day. Alas, it is not so.
She also has a nasty penchant for reaffirming her own statements, as in, “What you are selling there, I am buying, yes I am!”
And when she isn’t struggling to move her Botox-tempered eyebrows, she may very well turn on the waterworks and sob over a dance that touched her.
During auditions, she bawled over contemporary dancer Brandon Bryant’s performance, saying, “If you don’t make it to the Top 20, I think I’ll just die this year.” (Sniff, sob.)
Bryant made it. Our ears are not so lucky.
It’s too bad that her cringe-worthy antics cause many to hit the mute button whenever it’s her turn to critique a dance.
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