100 Thinks I learned did a post about New Moon Lessons... they are hilarious, here are a few...
1) Werewolves, by definition, must have six pack abs and take every possible opportunity to show them off, even if it means standing in the rain topless waiting for someone to randomly stop by. ~ Adam
2) Vampires, while easily killed by werewolves and other vampires, have not figured out how to kill themselves without traveling to another country and going through an elaborate judicial process. ~ Adam
4) There are man-eating “bears” in your area, and your boyfriend and best friend have left you. Go hiking. ~ Wayward Warrior
5) Werewolf First Aid Guide-Motorcycle Wrecks. Step one- Remove shirt. ~ Blank of BBS
12) When transforming into a werewolf, remove your shirt so it won't get ripped apart. Don't worry about the pants though: they will stay intact and magically reapear once you transform back. ~ SainaTsukino
14) Vampires aren't allowed to kill in a way that will attract a lot of human attention, unless it involves killing entire groups of tourist at once. ~ Adam
23) A movie titled "Face Punch" will have nothing but gunshot sound effects. ~ Adam
24) That creepy biker guy whose Harley you just jumped on the back of? Yeah, he’s just going to let you off at your earliest convenience. ~ Wayward Warrior
38) Love spelled backwards is "love" - not "evol." ~ Adam
39) Just because she'll die for you doesn't mean she'll marry you. ~ WatcherAngel
57) You can fall off a motorcycle that is skidding sideways and only get a few cuts, without bleeding, but when you get a paper cut you bleed all over yourself. ~ Shauna
76) You're cooler than Elvis if you can walk in slow mo'. ~ Pleiades Rising
[via RKL]
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